I am afraid that Zum will buck me off again. Zum is afraid of scary, moving objects. I want to understand our fear to overcome it. I am reading a book about fear. Fear is associated with specific situations and concrete threats. It is not a rational problem. Modern society has little patience for feelings. But we need feelings for guidance and to bring meaning to our lives. Zum and I are all about feeling.
I feel like I won the million dollar lottery! I rode Zum for two hours yesterday for the first time since my accident. I had a friend ride Huszar with me. Zum marched along with his tail high and his ears forward. I am addicted to the rapport of the relationship between Zum and I. I just want more rides together!
I am trying to create a new emotional response to the obstacles I am facing. I want to accomplish what I want to achieve with Zum. I wish to have control over my response to any situation. I need to feel empowered again. I hope to find fun with obstacles.
I take Zum on ‘Courage walks’ almost every day. He is being introduced to new objects in the neighborhood. When I see a scary object, I say “This scary object is a challenge. We can do challenges!” I ask for Zum’s attention to the object. After I wait for Zum to examine the object, Zum becomes brave and I feel great!
I am active with Zum, asking him for specific things. If he does something I don’t want, I make him busy doing something I want. Correcting bad behavior makes me reactive and I want to stay active, asking Zum to answer my constant requests and rewarding him and encouraging him constantly as well.
I stabilize my hand when Zum moves his head around and I release pressure on the rein when Zum moves his head where I want it to go. I ask Zum to do something and I would like Zum to do it 100 per cent of the time. When Zum doesn’t do what I ask, I try not to get frustrated. Zum is not stubborn. He just doesn’t understand. I have to repeat what I ask hundreds of times until he finally understands.
The less in control Zum is, the more important using just one rein is. I am going to bring one rein towards the saddle with enough tension that Zum feels contact. When Zum moves his head in the direction of the rein, I release the rein. Zum feels rewarded. I do it again. I hold the rein locked against the saddle until Zum gives me the right answer. I release the rein so he feels total reward.
I am trying to fix my hands with the reins against the saddle when I am riding Zum. If I let Zum move my hands with the bit in his mouth, this teaches him that he can drag me around. He learns that if he pulls hard enough, he can get my hands to move. If I brace my hands against the saddle, he can’t get my hands to budge.
I want to practice being in control with Zum. I am going to limit my activities with Zum until he is super under-control.
What a joy to sit quietly on Zum’s back again! I ask Zum to stand still. I want this moment to sink in so we both relax.
