Kirsten, Haley’s trainer, tells me that I need to show Zum that I am the boss mare. I can growl or make sharp noises that let Zum know when he is acting up. I told her I didn’t want Zum to think of me as a predator. This is why I stopped growling at him when he misbehaves. Kirsten told me that Zum knows I am not a predator. I have already established a relationship with Zum. Zum just needs to know that I am in charge of him.
Haley tells me that I can keep a boundary with Zum by using the tip of a hand whip as a barrier between Zum and I. If Zum learns to respect my space, he won’t be apt to run me down again.
I am at a complete standstill with Zum. Buddy’s lessons are forgotten. Zum will not obey me or do anything I ask him to do. He just wants to run me down, which he did. I sprained my right wrist, reinjured my bruised hip and cut up my right arm. I am looking for another trainer, preferably a woman whose weight won’t hurt Zum’s back. Another reason I need a woman trainer is so that Zum learns to be handled by a woman.
I spent two hours trying to get the saddle on Zum. I had him tied up. He pulled away, moved around, tried to run me over and basically refused to let me get anywhere near him with the saddle. I am perplexed and very frustrated. It seems his training is going backwards, a downward spiral where I cannot work with him at all. He is playing me.
In a high stress environment, learning for a horse is interrupted. Flooding a horse with scary objects or desensitizing a horse with fearful sounds only works if the horse has a safe exit and the horse can associate the objects or sounds with good or comfortable things. A horse needs time to process his fear. Zum is still processing his fear of saddles since the ranch saddle accident.
I am learning through a new program called Equitopia. I need to ask myself “Is Zum at peace?” A peaceful horse has his head down, lips relaxed and his movements are slow and steady. Zum will do anything to be at peace as horses want to feel peace, comfort and safety. I want peace as much as Zum does. I need to show him where he can be at peace.
Zum’s back legs have been very sore since his back feet got caught inside the stirrups of the ranch saddle. He doesn’t like to put weight on his back right leg. He won’t let me pick up his back legs so I know they are painful when I touch them. So I brush and pick up his front legs.
No one can escape death or love. What matters to me is being alive. Every day I am taking care of Zum, my love for him grows stronger.
Haley uses her bare hands to massage Zum’s back as she says that his back is tense and painful.
I am heart-broken that I cannot ride Zum as he recovers from the trauma of the ranch saddle accident. I can lunge him in the round pen. I can teach him tricks. Humans are mortal and fragile but I want to carry my past into the future. I want to live as I have never lived and look forward with hope. I want to hope that Zum and I can ride again on the trails as this is what we both love to do together.
